A Sydney man has managed to steal the city’s famous SCG, using several sticks of chewing gum, a fake ID, and a flock of hummingbirds.
The man, only known as Phake Eye Dee, managed to enter the SCG using a forged maintenance worker’s ID, and strategically placed 200 pieces of chewing gum on the stadium’s roof structure. He then called the 200 waiting hummingbirds, which lowered themselves onto the chewing gum in order to lift the stadium.
Military personnel watched on helplessly as the SCG slowly flew away; their fighter jet pilots didn’t stand a chance against the slideshow of Playboy covers that Dee had shown on the stadium’s enormous screens.
Through satellite tracking, authorities were able to trace the stadium’s route to New Zealand, where Dee is reported to have turned it into a sheep farm. New Zealand sheep protection laws prevent Australians from re-capturing the stadium while it contains sheep. Negotiations are continuing.