After spending years lurking in the blogosphere, Helmond DeBraber’s life came to a sudden end when he decided to leave his first comment on a joke thread. After simply typing ‘LMFAO’, DeBraber exploded, leaving nothing but charred remains on a swivel chair.
“He loved reading blogs,” his wife told reporters, “but he never commented. He knew he was aggravating the bloggers by running up their stats but not leaving a trace…but he just liked to hang in the shadows, usually pantless.”
Detectives at the scene looked at the blog in question and found that, despite popular opinion, the site Helmond was reading at the time was not funny at all.
“We feel pretty certain that laughter did not cause his demise,” relayed police, “but rather the simple act of leaving a comment. For many people, they simply can not do it. Sure, they will read this stuff all day long, but refuse to participate. When they do, the stress is usually too great for them to handle.”
Police urge people to not leave comments on blogs – or interact with the human species on any level whatsoever.