Posted by: Brad | January 16, 2009

Driving an SUV Found to Decrease your Intelligence

As the size of a vehicle increases, so does the negative effect on the driver's IQ.

As the size of a vehicle increases, so does the negative effect on the driver's IQ.

Scientists at Michigan Tech University have released the results of a 7 year study in which they looked at the size of a motorist’s vehicle in relation to their IQ, and the findings are surprising while they also confirm long held beliefs among drivers.

“We found that a normal individual of average intelligence actually decreases their brain power the bigger the car they drive,” said Dr. Jhonesburg, leader of the extensive study. “What we found is that if you take a Rhodes scholar, and put him in the seat of an H2, he becomes a total dumbass.”

The research was presented at this week’s Detroit Auto Show to much contention.

“I don’t buy it.” said Rick Wagoner, CEO of GM. “What about sub compacts?  Those people are obviously stupid in comparison with those who drive our Escalades.”

“The study looked at the effects of the car itself,” responded Jhonesburg “and not the IQ of the initial participant.  Sub compact drivers were of lower IQ already with little awareness of the safety danger they were in.  Drivers of large cars scored higher on our initial tests, but subsequently scored in the bottom percentile after just 10 minutes of driving the ‘tanks’, as I like to call them.”

The research will help explain why SUVers drive like maniacs on icy roads in deteriorating conditions, even though 4 wheel drive has no effect on braking power, as well as to why seemingly mild mannered soccer moms need 4 tons of steel to carry groceries.

The complete study can be found in the February issue of Motortrend.


Thanks to thisbuddyofmine for this submission.

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  1. I tend to believe the study.
    Was that a train car with car wheels!?

  2. Lol pochp! The mystical Hummerzine is pretty much a train. 😀

  3. Ok well the rumor I’ve heard is that not Big Truck Drivers don’t only have small brains (if you know what I mean)…!

    Oh my I can’t believe I just typed that. ***blushing***

    But I’m with you I don’t understand what the point is of those big tanks! The drivers of these things feel indestructible I guess cause they drive like crazy people.

  4. Hey Betty…my hubby drove a truck so watch it woman! Hehe…I think you said Joe did too!

    That SUV limo is ridiculously long and would be a horror to drive.

  5. Divine justice…I saw one of them bastards hit some black ice and ditch it on the the way to work this morning…right after he cut me off.

  6. He had it coming. Those guys have a false sense of security just because they’re driving tanks.

  7. How can I be smart like Charlok Holmes

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