Posted by: Brad | December 18, 2008

Fed Drops Interest Rate to -10,000%


Lobsters are finding new ways to defend themselves, as homeowners set their wealthy eyes upon them.

Lobsters are finding new ways to defend themselves, as homeowners set their wealthy eyes upon them.

In an impressive feat of Federal financial feat-ed-ness, the US Federal Reserve has dropped interest rates to an all-time low: -10,000%. This means that you actually get paid to borrow money, and you get paid A LOT. Effectively, for every dollar that you borrow, you will be paid $10,000 annually. For those of us previously in massive debt, this new rate means that we are now millionaires!

It has yet to be seen what impact this new rate will have on worldwide economies, but financial analysts only expect global poverty, and the collapse of modern civilisation. In other words, everything should be fine.

President Bush welcomed the move, saying that it will make him appear to be the best President in US history, because Obama will take the blame.

Meanwhile, homeowners are celebrating their newfound wealth with enormous parties in their diamond-encrusted mansions. Sales of lobster and champaign have risen significantly, as well as those of Ferrero Rochers.

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Responses

  1. I like your blog. Would you consider exchanging links?

    I don’t care whether links and comments agree or disagree as long as they are witty or intelligent, as your blog is. The important thing is that we have intelligent discussions to improve America.

    Our future is what we make it. Idiot Congress and elected officials have proven by example that if we do nothing, we have no future. The first step is never to vote for the person currently in office.

    It helps to have some entertainment, satire and laughs along the journey.

    My blog address is http://franklynchusa.wordpress.com

    My 2008 Presidential campaign website that changed the issues for all the Presidential candidates, including Obama, and still has additional issues needed to lift up our future, is www franklynch.org

    Thanks

  2. If it weren’t so true and pathetic it would even be funnier. Isn’t there an extention of the San Andreas fault under Washington DC? We can only hope. Visit me at http://www.SandySays1.wordpress.com
    I think you’d enjoy my latest blog post “Claus and the Consultant”. Put your laughin’ shoes on when you come.

    • Agreed. My laughing shoes are polished and ready to go 😀

  3. Oh no not the Ferrero Rochers! 🙂

  4. Now that’s how you hyper inflate the currently. UK is worried about low inflation. Stupid.

  5. @Betty: They’re selling faster than they are materialising from thin air 😉

    @Lyndell: The UK is worried about low inflation!? Has Gordon Brown not heard of Robert Mugabe? 😛


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