During a farewell visit to Iraq, President Bush was addressing a press conference, when a Cairo-based journalist threw two pieces of depleted uranium at him. It was initially reported that the man threw his shoes, but our sources say that these ‘shoes’ were in fact US Military depleted uranium ammunition.
Bush was uninjured, but the ammunition left a large whole in the wall behind him, and continued to fly on a path of destruction through Baghdad. It eventually came to rest in a small village in Romania, astounding the local residents. One said, “This man must have had great strength to throw this ammunition 2000km! It has pieces of an Iraqi rug burnt onto it! This man must have disliked Mr. Bush.”
The man is reported to have called out, “Dog, dog! “. It is believed that this was said in an attempt to warn a poodle that was walking outside the building of the approaching uranium. For the man to have known this, it is theorised that he has some kind of X-ray vision. Some sources claim that the man referred to himself as ‘Clark Kent’.
Bush laughed off the incident, as shown here:
*Please note that this report is satirical, and should not be taken as truth, unless you want it to be… Thankyou for reading this ridiculously small text!