Every Christmas, the evil dictator of the North Pole, Dr. Santa Claus, unleashes his army of enslaved elves (Exhibit A) to run every retail corporation in the world, in an effort to commercialise the religious holiday of Christmas.
This commercialisation definately helps bring cheer to the children of the world, and create the atmosphere of the holiday season. The major issue is the collection of dirty money from retail, which Dr. Claus re-injects into his lavish lifestyle (Exhibit B).
Santa builds his facade of cheer and merriness through the use of robot decoys, strategically placed throughout shopping centres world-wide. These are presented to children as “Santa’s Helpers” by their oblivious parents (Exhibit C).
Numerous references have been made to Santa’s evil-doings, but have been edited and dismissed as fiction. Examples of this are ‘Bad Santa‘, Tim Burton’s ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas‘, and ‘Sam & Max: Ice Station Santa‘ (Exhibit D).
A brief hiatus occurred in 1930, when Claus was secretly captured by the Icelandic Army, but he escaped the following Spring. Children were confused with the absence of Claus and his robot decoys, leading to mass speculation that he had been assassinated (Exhibit E).
Dr. Claus’ dodgy business deals must be stopped, and a more suitable heir must be found. Various large bearded men have come forward with wishes to become the next Santa (Exhibit F). The search continues.